Reasons TO Homeschool

Reasons TO Homeschool

I have had a number of homeschooled friends in my life, and they always answer my stupid questions about their life no matter how rude or inconsiderate they seem. This list style genre work was not meant to offend anyone, rather to celebrate the homeschooled people I know in a satirical style. Homeschooled kids are chill just like everyone else.

1. No Bullying: No socializing with other students means no “mean kid” on the playground. In fact, the “playground” just means your living room or backyard.

2. No tardiness: You can’t possibly be that late to your living room or kitchen or wherever you “have school”. Whatever excuse any student can come up with is irrelevant and highly thought out.

3. No awkward lunchroom situation: You don’t have to worry about fitting in because you won’t be shunned by your school peers for having no friends to sit at lunch with. You can just sit with your mom or aunt or whoever “teaches you”. Or you can sit with your imaginary friends...if you’re into that.

4. Complete supervision: It’s your child, so if they don’t go off to school, you don’t have to worry about what kinds of sketchy friends they will encounter. Don’t worry about the new words your child will learn from the naughty kids! With homeschooling, you can make sure your child will never be alone with a student with colorful language. In fact, you can be sure your child will never come in contact with a student in general! Therefore, you can rest in peace that your child won’t be harmed by the toxins of other people.

5. Exact Education: Does your child suck at math but is extremely advanced (like college level….no more like professor level) at English? No need to worry about class requirements of public institutions! Just focus on whatever you personally value: knitting, Irish dancing, bassoon or piccolo lessons, wood whittling, etc.

6. No Loneliness for the Teacher: If your child is your only source of human interaction, now you have a slave friend companion to keep you company for every minute of every day. You will get to spend extra time with him/her too because not only are you their teacher, but you’re also their mother!

7. Attitude: You can give your child that “I’m homeschooled” swag. This generally increases their confidence and people will get the message that they’re really special, intelligent people.

All in all, it’s up to you to decide whether your kids are going to be attending a public institution or a warm, cozy home learning environment. Learning is essential, and making the right choice is crucial to your child’s future. Homeschooled or public schooled, your child will probably turn out just fine.